Today is the memorial service for my Dad. So I thought I would share a story that
encapsulates the essence of George Gant, the man who raised me.
I’m taking a practice SAT in September of my Sophomore year
in high school. To make the class challenging, I’ve started taking the practice
SAT’s for speed. The teacher for the class is insecure, not very bright, and
not at all quick. As such she is
of zero use to me. Which through
my actions is abundantly clear.
Our relationship is not good.
I’m self-grading my most recent practice SAT at my desk,
when I realize that I made a stupid mistake that cost me one question. Under my breath I say, “That sucks.”
I don’t know that the teacher was walking behind me at that
very time. She says nothing. Two
days later, she calls me to her desk and hands me an office referral. I’m to
report to my assistant principal for using profanity in the classroom. Confused, I ask when this happened. She
says, “Read the referral.”
While
working on the assignment, Sean used profanity. He said, “This sucks.” This behavior and language is not
tolerated in my class.
So off to the office I go. The Assistant Principal reads that referral and asks, “Did you
direct the comment at your teacher.”
“No, I didn’t even know she was there.”
“OK. Two pops or I call your parents.”
This is a smart AP. He’s thinking, “Let’s solve this little issue quick and move on.”
“I shouldn’t be in trouble for this. It’s nothing. Call my
mom.”
The AP sends me out to wait while he calls my Mom. He brings me back in to tell me that
Mom not available, but Dad is on the way.
Oops. Dad’s a
soldier. Dad’s a construction worker.
Dad believes in discipline. Dad believes in taking care of your
business. Dad is not a fan of stupidity.
Dad shows up. The teacher is called down to the office. Now there are four of us in the AP’s
office. The AP asks the teacher to
explain the situation. She does.
He asks her if she felt as if I was directing the offending statement at
her. She did not. The AP asks for
my side of the story. I say that it went down just like the teacher described
it.
The AP is uncomfortable. He asks the teacher what she thinks should happen. She
thinks D-hall is a good idea. The
AP sees an out. “Well, if Sean
goes to D-Hall he won’t be able to play in the game this week.”
No Dad is going to agree to that, there will be a compromise
and the whole issue will be solved.
“Mr. Gant, do you think that is a reasonable consequence
based on what you have heard?”
My Dad waits a beat, looks at everybody in the room. At this point there is no question that
he is in charge. “Here’s what I
think. If there are rules about the use of profanity in class and you consider
what Sean said to be profanity, then he’s going to face the consequence. If he
misses the game, that is do to his actions. Disrespect in the classroom is not
acceptable and will not be tolerated.”
Again he pauses.
He looks at the teacher, she looks away. He looks at the AP, who is just nodding. He looks at me and
as smooth as any lawyer in a courtroom says, “But Sean, I’m telling you if I
ever get called off the job again for something you say in class... it better
be because you said F**K.”
And with that he stood up, told me he would see me at home
and left.
Home consequence: “Don’t waste my time being an idiot
again.”
School consequence: Two days D-hall and a missed game. And my AP and me had an agreement for
the rest of my High School career. We would handle my school discipline issues
just between us and leave my Dad out of it.
That was the genius of my Dad and how he was able to
orchestrate almost any situation to meet his desired outcome. In less than 60
seconds, (1) the teacher got his support; (2) his smart-aleck kid learned the
real-life lesson that sometimes the consequence far outweighs the crime; (3)
and the AP got the rubric for determining what level of behavior required his
consultation.
R.I.P.
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